im not like you, because i know im special

should i change? i know people expect me to be, but i guess only a few had the guts to say it to my face. im confuse. why would a person change just because of a car? yes, i admit my life is pretty easy right now. i dont whine and complaint like i used to.

ko ni serupa tak payah ade kereta, datang pun setengah jam awal gak.

that have nothing to do with me having a car or not. itu prinsip. i was told, nak menimba ilmu kena la datang lagi awal dari cikgu. plus, i dont like rushing to class. its like--unprepared.

and no, i dont go out much. only if im dying of boredness. yes, with a car, i get to see pesa more often. dont hate me with that. it's pesa final semester. i wanted it that way. i wanted all my free time to be spent with him. it's my choice. you would do the same if you were in my place.

and no, we dont eat fancy all the time. we still have our lunches in college's cafe. kami ni perut melayu. in fact, we havent dine fancy yet.

yes, i missed the mega sale. thanks for pointing out the obvious, that i have a car and i should go out and shop. but i guess im mature enough to know where to spend my money. thank you very much.

and to whom just know me, saya bukan anak manja, anak lord. kereta ini adalah necessity. keperluan untuk orang berkondisi seperti saya. im not allowed to over-walk, overactive. sorry i didn't get the chance to let you in in all the details. just that im not interested in talking to someone who like to pre-judge people. and since my family are moving to selangor, this car is pretty much my savor in johor.

kereta ini juga adalah janji ayah kerana saya mengekalkan kedudukan pointer saya. bukan sebab sakit sahaja. ayah juga tahu saya bukan jenis yang selalu keluar yang macam orang lain ingat. saya memang dah dilatih macam ni dari kecil, you want something, you have to earn it.

yes, im still too scared to drive. im still traumatize over my first accident. stop asking me, "dah drive sampai mana?" kau cuba la pulak accident, pastuh try drive balik. saya bersyukur di beri ketakutan ni, setidaknya saya sedar dimana bumi berpijak dan tak riak dengan harta yang bukan milik saya.

saya sedang cuba get over trauma ni. dont force me. it doesnt disappear in a blink of an eye.


there. i've let it all out.

bye.