nothing beats

Your hair all over the place. You eat while you pump out your breast and feeding him.

You starting to calculate time to cook and clean up all the food he throws on the floor. He's throwing tantrum and refuses any toys offered.

Oh, and you have not showered yet.

But nothing beats the look on his face at night when he is asleep, all tired from playing (torturing) with ummi. The face that just keep you calm and cant wait to see him in the morning.

Happy belated mother's day to me. 😘

life comes from me part 2

You chose this life/path.

That's what i've been getting since i have fattah. Is it wrong to say what's in my head? It's not everyday. Most weekdays it will only be me and fattah. On weekends i'll be putting on my happy-housewife face cause i'll be meeting my in laws or my parents. Can i get to talk to adults now?

I know it sounds like i'm whining but no want seems to understands what i have sacrificed, its a major turn around for me. From getting salary, getting out of the house, driving to being a mom. I dont get to go out like i used to. With fattah crying, making me feel like i'm a bad mother.

It just like nothing i do is good enough. I stayed at home, so i should get things done more. But i didn't because taking care of a baby took most of my time. I didnt even have enough time to do what i wanted to do-with ALL this free time people think i have now.

You know what? I have to calculate how many minutes i take for shower and brushing my teeth every morning.

I decided i'll stop talking about my baby blues, or blurt it. Whatever. When they have their own kids one day, they'll know.

I love my baby, my new life, so what if it doesnt go according to plan. Its my plan, my life. I just know there's something better for me. I just know. :)

life comes from me part 1

Okaaayyy fattah is asleep. Now it's time for me to solat, take my supplement and pump my breast to stimulate them to make more milk. I just HAVE to explain that. Haha. I've been thinking of reading before going to sleep since i still have loads from BBW, hubby strictly remind me to finish them before buying new books. Hmm, but i just got too tired from all day with fattah. Zzzz

Really. No kidding. Having a kid is mooooreee tiring than working. I know this because i used to have a job that is less- a bit less worse that an ER surgeon. Let me give you a low down.

My job start at 7.30am. Yes, you read it right, 7 frickin 30. The factory runs 24/7 so the engineers have to be on top of things. If we get in late few minutes, pay will be deducted. Factory world baby, each minute is like gold. No minute to waste. And i go back home at 7.30pm. We get to go back at 5.30pm, but we actually cant. Haha. Because mostly problem arises by 5.30pm. Hmm. Sometimes i go back home at 8pm. Everyday is like dat. Mostly at work, i dont usually sit at my desk, i went to production line, measure products, meetings, problem meetings, meeting clients, meeting supplier. Phew. That's why we all get free phones with paid bills. Easy to be dragged into problems. Sometimes i even forgot to pee, and when i do remember i almost cant hold it in.

Lunchtime was like heaven for us. The looong awaited break. We make full use of the 1 hour given. The only time we get to be sane. Then back to fighting fire- like my old boss always said.

When i get home, eat whatever i can, sometimes just drink milk, took a shower and sleep. We dont have cuti semester, cuti sekolah, cuti raya also have to negotiate. "who wants to save their leave and come back work early?" yelled my boss.

Sometimes, when you were sleeping at night, you get a phone call, "line down! Line down!" and you have to go the factory at 1am to settle the issue. Then at 7.30am you still have to clock in to work.

Few of my friends, first time mothers claimed "penat la jaga baby, lagi penat dari kerja". I feel you. Nothing beats my work schedule for the past 3 years than taking care of a baby. Go hug your mum or buy her something nice, because she has gone through with more than 1 baby. Kudos.

P/s: im typin while pumpin. Multitaskin'

Here's my baby. Photo-ed today.

delivering baby fattah pt 1

as promised, here are the details of how it went down.

Dah lama nak cerita penglaman bersalin kan fattah. So here goes.

I was at week 38, it was 13^th june 2014 on a Friday morning. We had an appointment with Dr. Noorfidak before the baby comes. Nothing out of ordinary that day, same thing. I feel heavy and fat. Oh and yesterday I don’t know, but I just have the urge to clean up our closet and iron few clothes. We reach pusrawi at 9.00am. it was my husband’s first pusrawi check-up with me. While we waited for our turn to see the doctor, I was invited to attend a talk on breastfeeding with the senior nurse. Did I mentioned that at week 38, I still havent got my go-to-hospital bag ready! Only the baby’s bag is in the trunk. Haha

Anyways, midway through the breastfeeding talk, I was called to Dr. Noorfidak. She scanned and by this time the baby weighs around 3.2kg, chubby and hairy baby. As I recalled Dr. noorfidak told us. Dia pun macam tekan2 kat rahim untuk rase baby position. Ok, dah locked down. Last month punya check up pun dia cakap mcm tu. Okayy. Cuak jugak. Then we discussed how to prepare for the day itself. Me, hubby and Dr Noorfidak. She explained, in two weeks (by week 40) kalau tak bersalin lagi dia nak admit kan la. Monitor baby and all. If takde tanda lagi then go back home datang week 41 and nak induce. Siap plan out guna calendar doctor bila nak datang for CTG, husband siap minta sabtu la, senang tak payah ambil cuti. (bini nak bersalin kot!)

Okay dah lepas jumpa Dr, buat payment bincang2 dengan husband nak buat final 4D. Boleh simpan buat kenangan gambar baby dalam perut. Dia kata ok, ade klinik dekat ampang boleh buat. Lepas tu kitorang pegi breakfast. at 12 noon. Just because tak sempat breakfast pagi tadi. Haha. Melantak siap simpan sikit kuih dalam handbag kot lapar lagi nanti. Then, we waited for Aisyah to pick us up. Konon nya dah alang2 kat KL, boleh la lepak kat KLCC while the husband pergi sembahyang Jumaat. Us girls pusing satu KLCC, mostly to baby shops, just to get the feeling. Tak membeli pun, cuci mata je. I fell in love with baby Ralph Lauren. Kedai je pun dah lavish. After the hubbies back from friday prayer, we had lunch in Nando's. and I didn't finish my meal. which is weird, i always finish all my meals. Perut dah penuh, baby dah besar, was my excuse. Husband packed it up for me so i can eat it at home. Then, aisyah and azzim treat us bijoux cupcakes. the cupcakes are so pretty i cant wait to it at home. in the living room. with both my feet up. haha.

okaaayyy, i have this issue with going to public toilets, especially when i'm pregnant, i refuse to seat on the toilet where everyone has put their butt on. so i hold my pee until we get to shah alam. (you have no idea, how much can a pregnant lady pee--a lot). then at 4pm, the couple send us back to Pusrawi so we all can go home. And they can pick up sumayyah from nursery. I had to go to the toilet as we reach Pusrawi, as i can't hold it anymore, plus i already felt like something has came out. I did my business and oh mak kau, i saw some dark brown mucus on my panty. Thanks to my readings, I knew my time has come. I was just now sure how fast. Dalam hati, not now, tak sempat 'servis' lagi bawah tu. hmm. 

Bagi tahu husband, dia suruh check dengan nurse Dr Fidak, since kita memang kat hospital pun. Nurse cakap dah tanda la tu, nak admit ke? Hospital swasta mengalukan anda admit awal, banyak belanja. hehe. But my husband insist on her to call my doctor. Dr. Fidak cakap lambat lagi maybe tomorrow or lusa baru deliver. Lambat lagi?? rasa macam cepat je esok or lusa tu, Dr suruh balik rumah relax and and jalan-jalan lagi. So baby cepat beranak. Kita pun lega, balik rumah dulu sambil makan kuih dalam kereta. nyum nyum.


to be continued...

missing confinement posts

haishhh.. i have posted two posts during my confinement month through an app in my phone.
But then kapoot!! no posts at all since 4th june! penat aku menaip. gigih tu nak menyimpan memory.
it's hard to find extra time to blog with baby on board now.

but issokay, things happened. i'll just start back from zero.

p/s: we really need to change this blog's name. too cheesy and so not matching with my new job-- a mom.
tee-hee!