moodswings

john mayer work wonders in that time of the month.

after a loooong hiatus

sorry for the mia. i guess since working i dont really have the time to sit and write. i chose hanging out over blogging. hmm. guess im too old to babble nonsense anyway. but i have regretted that we ( me and my bf) have shared wonderful memories but weren't able to share and record in this blog. but never mind later i'll put up pictures from my 1 year old phone (yes. i bought a new phone just to reward myself on graduation), to give you flash of memories that were not able to be updated.

hokayhhh. update time. when was my last time here? hmm.

I was working as an intern at Emery Oleochemicals for 3 months as trainee engineer which was an awesome experience and i got to get my hands dirty and working on big machines (its like an achievement for me sorry for the geek-y) and I wanted to continue there but unfortunately they dont hire fresh grads. So my previous manager asked me to work around first and gain experiences. And he gave me a reference letter for me to bring around my interviews and that letter was one of the reasons I landed my first ever engineering career. I'm thankful for that.

So, here I am. Almost completed my 1 year with Celestica with an SQE position. I actually applied for Process Engineer but I was called back for the SQE vacancy. At first I was like what the hell is SQE? What so hard about taking care of supplier's quality? But it was like a smack in the face. Its like the busiest position in Celestica. Haha. No, really. I'm serious. I dropped down to 2 sizes for pants. Jalan-jalan sikit kena tarik seluar naik. haha.

Buuuuuuttttttt, I had a long talk with manager last month, I was thinking of switching my career to something more technical, instead of fire fighting in the production. My wish has been granted. Though I am still in the quality field, I now sit in the Incoming quality as an FAI Engineer. Which to my amazement (is sooo much harder than being an SQE). An FAI Engineer responsibility is to inspect and study the first material, meaning the person will provide his/her approval for the material to be used in production. If anything goes bad, the root cause and questions will always be pointed to the FAI Engineer. Instead of working in 1 project in a team as SQE, I am now managing 8 projects and whats worse is I am the only FAI Engineer around. I'm not giving up yet, but I can already feel the stress and starting to doubt my ability. If I work too fast, I might miss some important points, If I work too slow, production line will have to hold. I'm still finding my momentum to get into that medium speed. InshaAllah everything will run smoothly.I just hope I'm not disappointing anyone. Fuhh. Pray for meeeeee.... :)


ooh, here's a photo of me and boyfie on my graduation day :)

im gonna make you feel like you're in heaven on earth,
im gonna thank your mother for giving you birth,
im gonna wanna hold you in arms when you cry,
if that's ok with you

i dont know if i should cry
i dont know if i should laugh over this
i barely know what's clearly now

i cant stand being alone
now
images going through my head

i cant tell
now
things won't go as i want it to be
or i just don't want to

mouth won't speak
tears won't fall

stop being so super
stop being so tough


no stars tonight to count,
or my eyes are just to blurry


hearts i have to keep
but who will keep mine safe?

why i will miss and not miss bus rides to classes

1. i dont need to wake up really early so that i can get the earliest bus which is usually less packed.
2. i dont have to wait 20 minutes for the bus to fill up with people, only then the bus will move.
3. i dont have to spend 20 minutes chit chatting with pakcik bas and listen to his family tree while waiting for the bus to fill up.
   
4. i dont have to worry to bring thick books to classes and drop them in front of everyone in bus.
5. i dont have to worry about what to wear if i missed the bus later and have to walk back to hostel. baju kurung is so unappropriate. langkah tak boleh besar- besar.
6. i will no longer have to set my playlist every week. it took 3 to 4 songs in bus to reach class. dengan kereta, satu lagu pun tak sempat habis.
7. i will no longer meet my classmates on bus and get fashion 411 on what im wearing.
8. thank god i dont have to curse the people yang dah la lambat, jalan pakai heels, kebaya belah, pakcik bas tunggu sampai diorang naik, berjalan nak naik bas pun slow motion, and its 5 minutes till class starts.
   
9. bus smelled like cologne/perfume shop everyday. it was suffocating. no wonder guys dont take bus rides anymore.
10. i dont have to wait like-- forever at the bus stop, just because pakcik bas thinks its too hot to pick up students from class.
11. i dont have to walk for 15 minutes in disappoinment. and whine to ayah. and get the feeling of bombing each bus i see.
12. i will no longer see myself in kebaya. no flat tummy, kaki besaq macam kayu balak.
13. i will no longer get the chance to sit next to juniors. boys. (seniors dont take bus rides anymore)
14. i will no longer be mistaken as a freshie. hmm
15. i dont have to stand when every seat is taken. and i dont have to show everyone my ability to balance myself under great inertia.
16. i have to eat a lot, since i was doing a lot of walking, a lot of money was spent.
17. i will no longer get tan! yay!
18. i will no longer get to wonder out through bus's windows. which i love to do. it gives you time to think.
19. i will no longer get the once-over look, the head to toe look. its freaky. and scary.
20. i will no longer feeling bad about sleeping too much because driving is less tiring than walking.
21. i dont have to stuck eating campus food, i get to eat outside.
22. i dont have to wait till weekend to get top up.
23. i dont have to walk 15 minutes just to reach ATM machines. and another 15 minutes back to hostel to get food.
24. i dont have to say 'campus life sucks' everyday. now on special occasions only.
25. my shoes wont have dirts on them.
26. i will not be sweating by the time i reach class.
27. i can go to the library anytime i want now.
28. i can eat nasi paprik every time i want to.
29. i have to worry about fuel, money, and car's condition everytime.

that's all i can think of right now. i definitely miss bus rides. hmmphh :)

take me to the club, i need to dance.

2 papers down.

i've been having this massive headache this few days. i rarely talk to people. when i talk i get nauseous. i've been dealing with dramas my whole life. i dont need another one from myself. but this is for real. i couldnt hold it any longer. i couldnt scream, i couldnt run, i couldnt escape. i felt like my uni was shrinking on me. it was so clutterred, so full, so suffocating.

he wanted to get me talking. but i dont know where to start. im starting to lose interest in things, what im wearing, and i dont even know how to decide. im being dramatic, and i hated it. but i cant helped it. hence, im became silence.

im mad. for things not going how i expect it to be. for things being out of my control. i am even mad of what she had done. i know you are reading this, stalker. because my baby sister got mine linked to hers. get your own life bitch. stop invading my life and using my stuff. we dont know each other, you were not properly introduced to me. so why would i treat you nicely? im no hypocrite, and im not going to treat u any different just because you know my family. there's a fine line on whats wrong and whats not. and i guess you are too immature to understand them.

said you were forced, you had no other choice. you have your mouth to say no right? or you are just plain stupid? then how u got into uni? buy your way in? bloody. i dont believe anything that came out from your mouth. not even that sweet smile. pity, u got the face, but not the brain. you are too damn shallow. you dont see things in bigger perspective. and im grateful for that, i least i know where i am, on top of you.

last warning bitch. i got your number. and you know the world is on my side.


p/s: huh, i got this fantasy where i wrote your number everywhere i go, "call this bitch, surely to be entertained. 012-XXXXXXXX". pergi sujud syukur i didnt do that.

with ibu and ayah.

location: in car otw back from bukit indah.
earcandy: know your enemy, greenday

task pertama motorola bagi untuk uji kehebatan ilmu engineering pelbagai universiti ialah problem solving--in teams. setiap team yang dianggotai 4 orang akan dikuarantinkan dalam sebuah bilik dengan whiteboard dan sebijik laptop untuk kegunaan internet dan buat slide show. handphones semua kene ambil-- untuk mengelakkan sebarang contact dengan luar. which means we have to do it on our own. -i was explaining-

and the task was: you and your team are in a game of explorace. however, your team are lost in the jungle. all you have is a walkie-talkie but the batteries are out. find suitable alternative power source to turn on your walkie talkie so you can contact other teams and ask for help.

nearby the jungle you are in: a village, a supermarket, the ocean. you can only use materials that can be found in these places and the jungle you are in. you are given one hour to find the solution and prepare a five minute presentation to present in front of the judges. each teams will be quarantined and will be given 15 minutes to do the presentation.

macam gitu la on paper punya question dia siap nombor giliran untuk present. 15. team ke-15 jumpe judges-judges dari motorola. transmit power, standby power, receive power dia bagi.


"entah la ayah. ika rase mula2 motorola ni macam bagi trick question. ape payah na nak cari materials semua, baik pegi je supermarket tuh beli bateri. hahaha. tengok power- power dia bagi ika ingat ade calculations semua. cuak dah."


ibu dengan ayah gelak. "apa punya soklan dorang bagi ni? agaknya dorang nak test korang fikir senang ke fikir serabut2. hahaha."


"tu lah pasal. takot gak nak cakap beli bateri je. kang dia cakap tunjuk terer ye budak ito ni. so, kitorg pun fikir la yang susah2, hydrolisis semua. kasi nampak bijak sikit. hahahaah"


"apa idea team ika?" ibu tanya.


"lin ckp hydrolisis. pastuh ika search-search jumpe pasal lemons boleh power up light bulbs. so dalam hutan tu konon nya ada lemons. tapi sebab lemon produce power yang rendah gila kitorg gune transformer tuk multiply power lemons tu then baru apply ke walkie talkie."


"mane nak cari transformer?"


"kan ade supermarket. beli steel bar. beli coil. buat transformer sendiri. lin cakap boleh. dia budak dekan berturut. pastu buat plat tuk cas positif, negatif cucuk dalam lemons banyak2 tuh. cukup la untuk mintak tolong je."


ayah diam. bahahaha. rasa bijak pulak.


"cuak ika bu. dah la kene present dalam english. budak2 tuh pilih ika lak tuh present. dorang angguk2 je. dorang cakap very gooooooood. haaaaa". start bangga dah.


"ntah2 semua team dia cakap very good. hahaha" ibu and ayah gelak.


"taklaa, kat team B judges tu cakap 'lain dari yang lain'"


"apa idea team tuh?" ibu tanya.


"masa lunch break tu, kitorg jumpe. budak team B cakap dorang pegi kat kampung pinjam dynamo kat basikal orang kampung. hahaha. lagi la. siap pinjam2."


ibu dengan ayah gelak gilababas.

lin. the-know-it-all.

for a moment there. i dont feel like a failure. =)